God! you know I'm trying, but this fight is so much bigger than me!
Its like a possession, some demon wrenches control of my mind and my hands away from me.
I know you are bigger than this, I know this disease can be killed by you.
So Jesus, please help me. I've got to get past this but it refuses to move.
I have got to sing.
My vocal chords strain for the sounds, and I sputter syllables that are unrecognizable as words.
My brain is a jumble of thoughts that I can't seem to organize into anything worthy of expressing.
Everything I know is falling, everything in me is failing.
God, I need a moment of revelation, give me a new life and fill me with your breath again.
I can't handle all of this... any of this.