My friend, I know your chasing heart.
I've been the person chasing solace and running away from the chaos in my own head. I know that.
But sister, these things won't sustain you! No guy, no distance is going to help you.
You can run to any corner of the world, any crevice you can fit into, any escape you can find, but nothing is ever going to help.
There is no life in anything that you can touch, smell, hear or experience. The only thing that is going to kill that ache and help you find peace is to go before the Father.
I can't pretend to understand the situation you're in, but I see in you the things that I felt before he took me in again. He loves you, he misses you, he wants you to be happy and not to hurt yourself! So do I.
Hermanas, para siempre. Te extraño.