New year for new beginnings.

I can't say I'm sad to see 2008 gone. A lot of good things happened last year, but a lot of bad things happened as well. I want this year to be different. I want to be different this year.
I want to love more and burst out in anger less.
I want to be less negative.

I want to be a daughter my parents can be proud of.
I want to be less critical of myself and others.
I want to spend less time hiding away from the people I love because I can't stand the way they are acting (read:how I am interpreting the way they act).

I want to be the woman of God my name suggests I am.

God is With Us.

Lets take on the world
and see what it throws back at us
Throw caution to the wind
forget all our sins and live!

God has picked us out and given us this mission
lets take the task and run with it

THIS IS LIFE!
Living full out arms out,
flying falling into the sky
THIS IS LIFE!
Giving up our selfish whims
and giving in to truth
this is life!
THIS IS LIFE!!!

Lets Take up arms
and face the armies against us
We can do this.
Emmanuel.

Good God, You still get us home!

"17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

My ex/Best friend came to Christ today! This is the verse that came to mind for him. He's saying things I'd never imagine him saying.
I could never have seen this coming, but thats the way God works. He loves to smack us in the face with the most wonderful surprising things.

Boy, did this smack me hard! I was bawling and shaking, now I am smiling my head off. Sometimes God does Christmas early :D

He tripped on Triple X's

This is dedicated to the guys I love, and to XXXchurch. It hurts to be on the other side of the porn thing, not the girl in the porn, but the one who has to watch you get sucked in.
____________________________________
Trembling hands with trembling fingers
Reaching up, her arms outspread
Oh god please help me. my god! please help me!
Silent prayers in her head.

Muscles tighten, teeth clench to keep the screams inside
From the pain, the hurt, not just her own
Running, wondering where to hide
From the monster in her home.

Invisible to the naked eye,
Computer screens let it inside,
Only the careful see,
The poison monster as it creeps.

The death to spirit, blood and bone,
Silently invades the home.
There's nothing that the girl can do
To kill the death that's captured you.

Daybreak.

I will trust you oh god, to direct my path.
I will follow you oh god, no matter what the cost.
I will give myself over to you Oh My god,because as high as the skies are over the earth, so are your ways higher than mine.

These are the cries of my heart, Father!
Hear me sing your praises!
Because even in my trouble YOU are there!
Even in my sickness, YOU are there!
You are holy, God.
I am lowly.

I will decrease so you can increase!

Father, savior, redeemer, provider!
You are.
Lowly, Shameful and broken!
I am!

Change me to be the person you've called me to be.
May the word of my lips and the thoughts of my mind be subject to your will.
If I go against what you would have me do, draw me back and I will come.
Oh my god, I am yours.
Here in this moment, I am yours.
From this day on, Jesus, I am yours.

Never.

WHY AM I NEVER THE ONE?

why am I always second choice, second best?
the one NO ONE WANTS.

Am I so repulsive, that no one looks at me and sees someone worth loving?
Am I so odd, that I'm meant to be alone?

Am I such a loser, that I can't win for losing?

Strange...

I am Sick, and I'm broken.
Hopes up, smashed down.
Hit the ground and flew to pieces
-with a strange intensity.

Its not that I'm in love with you, I just liked you a whole flippen lot.
You're still awesome, anyway.